KRAMER VS.
Getting Trumped

By IRWIN KRAMER
The Daily Record
March 22, 2004

“You’re Fired!”

Far from a fond farewell, these two potent words have long prompted lawsuits from those protesting their undiplomatic exits from the ranks of the employed.

Now, those who dare to utter this phrase may face more than the wrath of a disgruntled employee. They may soon face litigation from a disgruntled billionaire.

Donald Trump is so fond of these farewell wishes that he has filed a trademark application for the catchphrase that placed his reality TV show atop the prime time ratings. According to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, the real-estate mogul and star of “The Apprentice” wants the exclusive right to use these parting words in games, toys, casinos and clothing.

The Donald is putting the fun back into firing. Perhaps the phrase didn’t bring a smile to the faces of Sam, Omorosa or more than 8 million Americans who remain unemployed, but Trump doesn’t care about them anyway. Those misguided losers of the business world can’t afford to purchase his exclusive line of “You’re Fired” merchandise.

As any good apprentice should know, the real market lies in the 94.6 percent of Americans who currently cash paychecks that will allow them to buy charming T-shirts emblazoned with the delightful slogan, “You’re Fired! Donald J. Trump.” For those with a little more money to spare, the Donald Trump “You’re Fired” Windup Doll, complete with bouffant hairpiece, is sure to be a great stocking stuffer during that wonderful season of peace-on-earth-and-goodwill-toward-men.

Like the candidates on his show, The Donald faces some competition of his own as he vies for the marketing rights in this sweet slogan. Other businessmen have filed trademark applications for the exclusive right to exclaim “You’re Fired” on such novelties as coffee mugs, baseball caps, mouse pads, footwear and, yes, bulletproof vests. For the budding billionaire of the future, there are even plans to place the phrase on beanie babies.

Trump may have trumped his rivals by filing the first of four competing trademark applications, but that doesn’t mean he’ll win the exclusive right to market this generic phrase. Even if he proves the expression to be distinctive enough for a trademark, he will only win the exclusive right to use the term on certain goods and services. While wise employers might benefit from more diplomatic synonyms, nasty bosses may continue to “fire” away without writing royalty checks to the man who “popularized” the expression.

Of course, gambling on the phrase may backfire on The Donald and those who seek to emulate his entrepreneurial style. As federal bureaucrats review Trump’s claim to the words “You’re Fired,” they must consider another application filed three months earlier by a competitor wishing to market slot machines and other games with a slightly different trademark: “Take This Job and Shove It!” .